Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I can read

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

The Labour Party wants to put the Winter fuel allowance and the £800,000 of gifts received by ministers behind us. Is this a real option for the people who will suffer as our new masters unapologeticly feast on freebies?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I actually pay taxes

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I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I understand how hurricane paths work

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

How do you get started in bestiality with a dog as a male?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I see through liars

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”